Finding the strength to quit

Some conversations these past weeks have left me sad. Maybe because, in some way, each was with someone carrying the weight of an unlived life. And I’m always touched by this.

• Lieve, a marketing director who cries every day under the pressure of her general manager’s evening calls. She doesn’t want to disappoint him, she says. “In a way… he’s nice, you know.”

• Philip, a friend who doesn’t know whether to leave his girlfriend, yet has been suffering in this toxic relationship for years. “I know I should end it… but I just can’t find the strength.”

• Johanna, a receptionist of thirty years, moved last year to a desk so poorly designed that she now lives with severe back pain and sleepless nights. “This company is my life, Manu.”

• And Eric, a call centre director managing a team of 500, day and night, working eighty-five hours a week, leaving no room for family. “I know I should have left a long time ago… but I don’t think I can do anything else.”

These aren’t just private stories. The same pattern plays out everywhere in companies: people stay in roles or strategies or partnerships long after they know they should change.

And the cost isn’t just personal. Your team sees it, your market feels it, and hesitation turns small issues into structural problems.

Not that I’m saying these four people should necessarily leave, of course. This is always a deep and very personal choice. But the question I’ve been sitting with is:

How do we find the clarity that supports us to make difficult choices?

Because that clarity is what makes it possible to see new possibilities and gives us the strength to act on them. Here’s what I’ve seen work:

1) Feel the feeling, drop the story.

We don’t make hard choices easier by thinking harder. The mind will always find good reasons to stay, to go, or to delay.

Create a safe space, on your own to turn toward what you feel about the current situation. When the feelings are unpleasant, the instinct is to avoid them in every possible way. But when you stop avoiding them and start acknowledging their truth, you’ll find they’ve been hiding something important: clarity.

2) Talk it out with intent.

Once those sensations have been felt and their messages heard, space opens. In that space, new insights can rise, about your hopes, your fears, the facts, and the uncertainties.

Test these insights with trusted voices: Not with “What would you do?” but with “What am I not seeing?”

3) Step back to get perspective.

Schedule time away from the noise, half a day, a weekend, where your phone is off and nobody can reach you. In those quiet moments, allow your heart and mind, feelings and logic, to truly meet.

Notice what happens in your body as you read the questions, and write what comes.

• If I stay, what happens in me and around me?

• If I change, what opens and what will I carry?

• Which choice lets me stand with more dignity and purpose?

  
  

When you come from a place of embodiment, your feelings will color your thoughts. And when clarity finally comes, you’ll know.

Many leaders tackle decisions from a purely logical place, disconnected from this deeper layer. Some mistakenly believe feelings are “soft” or “unproductive.” But without them, you risk making a technically correct decision that leaves you, and your organisation, misaligned.

4) Move from clarity to strength.

Once you’ve weighed the facts and listened to your instincts, choose a direction. Then give it shape: set a timeline, define steps, and communicate to those who need to know.

And before you announce it, stand in it one last time. Not just in your head, but in your body. Ask yourself: If I follow through, will I respect the person I’m becoming?

That pause locks the decision and helps you share it from a deeper place.

In leadership, clarity is not a luxury; it’s a duty. An embodied clarity gives you the strength to make the hard decisions and act on them. When your mind and body, thoughts and feelings, are aligned, it’s not only easier to move forward but it gives people the confidence to follow, even into discomfort or uncertainty.

Your people can live with tough calls. But they can’t thrive in your hesitation.

Thanks for always reading,

Manu

Manu Henrard is an Executive Coach and an Executive Recruiter based in Brussels. Manu works at the intersection of performance and presence, helping leaders stay true to themselves while navigating pressure, pace and complexity. Manu's professional commitment is to help leaders increase meaningful productivity and achieve inner peace.