It's Just me!

I woke up at 4 a.m. last week and noticed light streaming through a crack in my daughter’s door, so I knocked lightly on her door to check in.

She cheerfully called out, “Come in!” Opening the door, I found her in bed, bright and alert, screen glowing, fingers flying across her keyboard.

BTS, the famous Korean K-pop band, had just announced their comeback. First album in five years. Julie was racing to get new merchandise pages live on iPurple, the ecommerce website she’d founded with her mother at age 16, before any other European site.

At 4 a.m. On a Tuesday. While finishing her master's degree at KUL and preparing for her next exam in two days.

“It's just my job, Dad. Otherwise, we don't sell.”

For her, it was normal. For me, watching her work, alive, focused, not exhausted, it raised a question I've been sitting with ever since:

How can some people do more than most leaders I work with, and still have more energy?

Every week in my work with senior leaders, I see brilliant people. Accomplished. Leading divisions, making things happen.

But they're tired. And not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. The kind that lives in your bones.

They tell me they're overwhelmed. They come to coaching wanting better energy management, clearer boundaries, and ways to protect themselves from burnout.

These things are all necessary. All useful.

But often, underneath the exhaustion, there's a question they don't ask out loud:

“Is this it? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?”

These leaders are doing what they're supposed to do. They’re delivering results, being responsible, and checking the boxes. But something inside them is slowly going quiet.

And watching Julie work reminded me why.

***

Here's what struck me about watching Julie at 4 a.m.:

The difference isn’t the volume. It’s the alignment.

Julie isn’t getting up at 4 a.m. for iPurple as a business. She's getting up for K-pop fans. For a community that matters to her. iPurple is just the vehicle. And having something that’s hers, even alongside her studies, even in the margins, changes everything. The meaning is what catalyzes the work.

Most of the exhausted leaders I work with have reversed this equation.

They’re trying to find meaning in the company’s mission. Motivating themselves to reach quarterly objectives. Attempting to align with the CEO’s vision. Attending workshops on purpose and engagement they don’t actually feel inside.

And then going home depleted.

Because you can’t borrow someone else’s meaning. Not sustainably. And definitely not at 4 a.m.

***

The leaders I work with often believe the problem is volume. “I’m already drowning. I don’t have time to figure out what I really want.”

But it’s not always that they’re doing too much (although, of course, that’s sometimes the case). It’s that too little of what they’re doing holds meaning for them. In other words, too little of what they’re doing is theirs.

When everything you do serves a borrowed purpose, every task costs you. Even the small ones. Especially the small ones. You’re running on fuel that doesn’t replenish.

When even a small piece of what you do connects to what you actually care about, the work starts to give back. Not always. Not every moment. But enough.

***

Here’s the shift:

You don’t need to quit your job. You don’t need to follow your passion or blow up your life or take a massive risk.

Julie didn’t quit school to start iPurple. She built it alongside those other responsibilities. Starting at sixteen. Fifteen minutes here. An hour there. Six years later, it's real. But more importantly, she's still alive inside her own life. Doing work that’s truly hers energizes her, and she’s able to bring this joy and passion to school and other activities.

You don’t need to change everything. You just need to start building something that’s yours.

Not necessarily instead of your job. Alongside it.

Spending fifteen minutes a day on something that belongs to you can change how you show up for everything else.

Not because it adds energy directly. But because it reminds you that you’re more than your role. And that reminder, that small proof that you still know what moves you, creates a different kind of fuel.

***

A practice

If you're feeling a sense of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix, try this exercise. You can do this alone with paper and pen, or with someone who can listen without trying to fix—a friend, a colleague, or someone you trust.

Set aside fifteen minutes.

Sit somewhere quiet. Feel your feet on the floor. Your sit bones on the chair. Your breath. Let yourself settle.

Then ask yourself these questions. Don't answer from your thinking mind. Let each question land in your body first. Notice what happens—does your chest open or tighten? Does your breath shift? Then, write or speak from what you feel.

What do you long for?

Let yourself write or speak for a few minutes. Whatever comes. Don’t edit. Don't make it sound good. Just let it out.

What future do you want to build?

Be specific. What does it look like? Who’s there? What are you doing? Let yourself see it.

How could the world make best use of your competencies?

When you’re done, read what you wrote or ask your listener: “What seemed most alive in me?”

Then look for what galvanizes you. Not what you think you should want, not what would look good to others, but what actually makes your chest open when you read or hear it.

That's the signal. That's what’s yours.

Then ask one more question: If I gave this fifteen minutes a day, what would I start to do, and who would I start to be?

Not someday. Tomorrow.

You don’t need to change everything. You just need to start building something that's yours.

Fifteen minutes a day. Starting tomorrow.

When what you do is yours, you don’t get up at 4 a.m. because you have to. You get up because it's just you.

Thanks for always reading.

Manu

Manu Henrard is an Executive Coach and an Executive Recruiter based in Brussels. Manu works at the intersection of performance and presence, helping leaders stay true to themselves while navigating pressure, pace and complexity. Manu's professional commitment is to help leaders increase meaningful productivity and achieve inner peace.